Sunday, July 3, 2011

Hair shirt

Did you want to know where I've been all this time?  Just around.  But I haven't been able to type up my thoughts because the lady is always following me around.

I'm going to the kitchen, lady.  Oh, no, wait Bouncer!  I need to go get my camera!  Now, I am walking to the hallway because the floor is oh-so-cool on my belly.  Oh, Bouncer, hold on!  I'm not ready yet.

I think that I am a ce-le-brity.  Here is my bew-ty shot.

I am like one of those famous people that wherever they go, they leave something behind for their fans to talk about.  And the fans have so much to say because they are "in awe" of the ce-le-brity and the fanci-ness and just can't understand how the famous person does so many great things.  Some famous people are famous because they make things for other people, like my neighbor who makes sweets that fall from his trees right when I'm waiting for them.  Other people are famous (like my lady) because they bring me places - to the mountains where there are many squirrels and birds and my head becomes so full with all of the places I could explore and all of the things I could eat.  And then there are people, like the people at the Barn, who build things for other people, like how they built me a family, and they also built Robin and Winnie a family, and it makes people so happy and grate-ful because they didn't have one before.

For me, I am a ce-le-brity because I make hair shirts for the lady and the Man and Miss Emily.  Before my bath, after my bath, in the living room, in the bathroom, under the chairs and in all the crevices of my new house.  And the best part about it, is that I don't even have to think about it.  I just do it.  And the lady is "in awe" of how I could produce so many hair shirts in just one day.  "You are a hair shirt powerhouse," she says.  So she follows me around and takes my pictures and brooms my hair shirts up so that there's more room for all the hair shirts I will make before I go to bed.

2 hair shirts in process
The lady wants to put me in a wet suit for one day just to see how many hair shirts there will be underneath it.  She is very excited by this idea.  And she is also making plans to teach me how to use the vacuum hose all by myself!

I never once thought I would be so famous that people would talk about me so much and even when I leave the room.  I guess I'll have to get used to being a ce-le-brity.  


  1. Bouncer! It's good to hear from you, buddy! I'm glad you've been very busy moving from the living room to the kitchen to the hall and getting your picture taken. My dog is also very good at those things, as well as making hair shirts. In fact, I also have hair sheets, hair pants, and even hair underwear. She's been shedding her undercoat for a couple of months now and you'd think from all the fur that's fallen out that she'd be half the size she was this winter. It's the magical mystery short pibble-mix coat! Roll over, cotton. Step aside, polyester. Sayonara, wool. Introducing the world's greatest renewable clothing fiber source: dog hair! If you ever have any time left over from being both a dog AND a celebrity, you may want to get a start marketing your own clothing line. In the meantime, please let us know how things go with the vacuum. Don't accidentally vacuum up Miss Emily!

  2. i had been checking to see what you have been up to - glad to see you back again!

    i think you should sell your hair shirts online since you are such a ce-le-brity. then you could buy miss emily, the personal space moocher, some of her own space...but only when you think she needs it. i know it is good to share - sometimes! :)

  3. I love your updates, Bouncer. You must be a celebrity because I check in every few days to see if there is a new update from you! It's almost like we're all there following you around the house, waiting to see what you'll do next!

  4. Oh man....what a lucky lady and man! Bouncer, I am president of your fan club!

  5. OMG that picture/caption is hilarious. You should probably open up an Etsy shop to peddle your hair-wares. Just a suggestion.